... and that's news, because the people who wrote the funny part are the members of "an editorial board of a newspaper." The editorial board of a major newspaper is not supposed to write stuff that is funny. They all try to sound like the editorial board of the New York Times--so serious they sound like they have a stick up their butts. You know.
But apparently things are different at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Apparently that editorial board is composed of a bunch of cut-ups with a wicked sense of humor, for a change.
Here's an excerpt from their editorial called "Tips on How Congressional Offices can cut costs." The problem is that congressional representatives let their office budgets rise about 7% between 2008 and 2009. That's money *we* pay to run their offices. In these tough times, you might expect a slash or two, give the taxpayers a break, right? But noooooo...
...The yearly allotments — called the Member Representational Allowances, or MRAs — differ district to district. Virtually all range between $1.4 million and $1.6 million a year. The money pays for staff, travel expenses and the like.
(Republican Congressman Pete Sessions)— a Dallas lawmaker best known for outlandishly conservative views, connections to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff and an admirable devotion to the Boy Scouts of America — favors a freeze.
“Americans are tightening their fiscal belts” and “Congress should do the same — including . . .office account spending levels,” he told Politico through a spokesperson.
Right you are, Pete. *Though we’re saddened that your office said you had no plans to reduce your own office expenses...*
...It shouldn’t be too tough for lawmakers to forgo the increase. Here are some suggestions:
• *Double up.* Members are permitted to have “shared employees.” Think of the efficiencies that would be gained if only one House employee was required to laugh at members’ jokes.
• *Use public transit.* Vast sections of the House Manual, a sort of rule book for lawmakers, are devoted to parking spaces and rental vehicles. Members could save taxpayers a bundle by using public transit: D.C.’s Metro system even offers them a discount.
• *Save postage.* Don’t mail out those newsletters. Nobody believes them, anyway.
• *Shut up.* U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., one of the House’s biggest spenders in the first quarter, spends a lot of time making stupid statements on TV, such as “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it is an interesting coincidence.”
Actually swine flu broke out under President Gerald Ford, a Republican. Think of the time her staff spends apologizing.
Ho ho ho. OUCH! They're on to her in St. Louis, too. They might have also mentioned the fact that Michele blew about $100,000 of the taxpayers money on mailers in her district--one of which contained her pledge not to seek earmark spending (which she broke) in order to help end to *wasteful spending by the Congress.*
She's a scream, isn't she? Too bad she's so expensive, so "high maintenance." (Doesn't she have *three* press people on her paid staff? Do I have that right? She changes them so often; I suppose they have nervous breakdowns or something.)
Speaking of screams, here's the photo the editorial board of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch ran with the online version of the editorial. No one can tell that editorial board doesn't have a sense of humor. I wish we had editorial boards like that here, in Minnesota.
"Woo-woo-woo-woo! I'm the queen of hundred thousand dollar taxpayer-funded mailings!"
See also Eva's previous article about Bachmann's "economy in government."
Link: http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/the-platform/published-editorials/2009/06/tips-on-how-congressional-offices-can-cut-costs/ |
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